In Larry & Sophia's reception today, brother Gary shared that it's difficult for the Lord to open the emotions of the sisters. That's true. Sisters are relatively more emotional. However, the brothers are not better, especially with the mind. In the last couple weeks I was so anxious over something that's totally unreasonable and hypothetical. Sometimes the only way to get rid of one hypothetical problem is until another hypothetical problem comes up. In the same time, I know that the Lord will take care of me in whatever situations(and He always did), but it seems like the hypothetical problems can never get off my mind.
Sometimes the Lord gives me something good. I always have a tendency to figure out how can I maintain this good thing without the Lord. Like I will plan that if this happens, I will do this this this. If this happens, I will do this this this. Actually this is the foolishness of me. I don't have plan out every solution to every POTENTIAL problems. The Lord is always with me and I KNOW it.
Three years ago I was in the toughest situation because of something I have little control. I was totally hopeless. I was mad at God and I questioned my faith. However, I never cease to pray and praise the Almighty God. I prayed to the Lord that if you can save me out of this I will consecrate myself to you completely. The Lord is faithful. Here I am, everything turns out to be alright.
In the last three years I experienced two amazing miracles in my life. Please do ask me what they are. If I am telling you right now you are not going to believe me. For now, the miracles are just between me and the Lord. I want to testify these two miracles to the saints but the Lord told me that this is not the good time. He wants me to wait couple years. Nevertheless, one thing is sure. The Lord works in a mysterious ways that surpasses my understanding. All I can do is marvel at His glory and wonders.
Like the old Testament fellow brother Job, the Lord struck me down. Only when the situation is completely hopeless, the Lord had the chance to show His power and restored He took from me. Even my mom told me that "This has to be the hand of God." Hallelujah!
Honestly speaking, Lord, the part where you struck me down, is not a pleasant experience. It's the most horrible experience I ever felt. All You are trying to do is to show me one lesson. "Have faithful in Me and trust Me. Know that I am the Lord." It's TRUE. I have faith in you and everything turns out to be fine.
Lord, I learned the lesson. I really learned the lesson now. Amen. Amen. Amen. I wish I will never experience those kind of trials again. Please have mercy on me. Do not lead me into temptation and deliver me from the evil, Lord. I will follow You the rest of my life. My cal education, my career, my family, and my future, I trust them all to You. You are Wonderful, Lord.
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I agree that the brothers' minds and emotions are not invulnerable to attack. We all think and react to stupid things sometimes.
I've also had experience of the Lord striking me down. I've also had my share of anger toward God. But I realize now that these experiences are part of his shepherding. That's the thing I enjoyed from the reception today: the matter of shepherding. I think I should have stood up and shared that Larry was the one who taught me "ID" (image and dominion), and how it important this revelation was to my Christian life and my realization that I need to be baptized.
I remember during one of the Bible studies with Larry, I shared with him some of my difficult experiences. I remember him saying that these things were very difficult, and that the best thing to do is to put the matter in the Lord's hands. Now, I can look back and see more clearly the Lord's operation. Praise the Lord, for He is our shepherd!
-Anatol
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